


if we were meant to be

by thevirtch



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF, tessa virtue/scott moir - Fandom, virtuemoir
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue, Jealousy, Romance, Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue - Freeform, Slow Burn, VirtueMoir - Freeform, scott moir/tessa virtue - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevirtch/pseuds/thevirtch
Summary: Tessa and Scott have been skating together for 16 years. Coming off from Sochi 2014, they embark on a new season with new highs and new lows.(What would happen if they never took a break after Sochi)
Relationships: Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue, Scott Moir/Other(s), Scott Moir/Tessa Virtue, Tessa Virtue/Other(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**High Performance Camp 2014, Mississauga**

In this summer heat, anyone would be in a bad mood. Not Tessa, though.

She lets out a sigh of relief she didn’t know she was holding back, and a sense of calm rushes over her. This is home, she thinks to herself, this feels right.

She stops in front of Hershey Centre, the place where the reality of a new season beginning in a matter of weeks hits her. Despite all the changes in her life, from the coaching staff in Montreal to their new apartment complex, she’s strangely excited for the week ahead.

It dawns on her she’s been subconsciously waiting for him the moment he pulls up. Of course she is, because what would she be without him? 

Scott steps out of his car and spots her immediately. She can’t help it, she smiles and rushes up to hug him. Even though they’ve just endured an hour flight together the day before, she’s been looking forward to seeing him again since they said their goodbyes and Scott headed out with Sarah for dinner. 

“Hey Virtch!”, he says, hugging her tightly. “How’s your night?”

She breathes in his scent, all too familiar and so _Scott_ , and replies, “Good. Chiddy and I went with the team to McDonalds, but if Marie asks, we had salad and a well-balanced meal. How’s yours?” 

“Lucky you. We ate at a fancy restaurant, nothing much. I wanted to get a good rest before today.”

Scott and Sarah started dating for a week after being introduced by his sister, which isn’t surprising considering Scott jumps head first into any new relationship. 

“Speaking of rest, you seem pretty awake today, eh?” He remarks, taking her luggage from her hand and wheeling it into the centre.

“What do you mean? I’m always awake”, Tessa exclaims, stopping in her tracks.

“Oh, nothing. Just, you know, you’re acting like a normal human being before noon, which is a rare sight to behold.” Scott teases, and swerves to avoid Tessa’s shove.

“Haha, very funny Scotty”, she says, rolling her eyes. She pretends to be annoyed, but her face betrays her and before she knows it she’s smiling. Their casual teasing never gets old.

“You love me,” Scott says, looking at her with the smuggest grin.

“No, I absolutely do not,” Tessa says, avoiding his eyes and blushing.

“Careful, Virtch. Don’t forget who’s lifting you today! Wouldn’t want an accident on Day 1, eh?” Scott jokes, and they reach the briefing room, where they sit in silence for hours through the customary lecture that has probably stayed the same since ice dance became a sport. 

It’s the season after an Olympic year, so many of the familiar faces are gone, with new ones looking expectantly at the lecturer as if their season depended on it. Tessa and Scott take turns pointing out different couples and dishing on any rumours they heard about romantic couples in Skate Canada. It occupies time, and prevents her from drifting off to sleep because this briefing could not have been more boring. They also do it to distract themselves from any stares from the other athletes, particularly the juniors, who aren’t as discreet as the seniors and look as if they cannot believe Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are breathing the same air as them.

“Thank goodness that’s over,” Scott says once the lecturer finishes, standing up too quickly and drawing stares from the other athletes.

“Scott, shhh, that’s not nice,” Tessa gently chides, but she joins him and walks out of the room, as they head towards the changing room to get into costume.

“It’s the truth, T,” Scott reasons, but he concedes, and adds a “sorry” for good measure. Wearing emotions on his sleeve has always been his strength and weakness, but she loves him for it. And besides, hiding emotions has always been Tessa’s strong suit, not his.

They get changed quickly, Tessa in a white dress with golden accents and Scott in a white long-sleeved shirt with black pants. It’s classic Virtue-Moir, and Scott smiles when he sees her, taking her hand and twirling her in a circle.

“We look good, eh?” Scott asks, and she nods.

In other years, they walked into High Performance Camp with nervousness at how their programs will be received by the committee, at how Marina would react afterwards, at the interviews that kept them up at night. 

But this season, they vowed to make it theirs. Most of their teammates took a break after Sochi, but their decision to come back was made partly because they missed the sport, and well, okay, the fear that they didn’t know who they would be without this regimented training schedule. This was their season, and they knew they had nothing to lose. 

So, they walk into the rink, with all the scents bringing up a wave of nostalgia, hand in hand. They lace up their skates, competing to see who can get them on the fastest. It’s a childish game, from when they were 7 and 9, but they play it anyway, Tessa finishing first after Scott messes up his right lace and has to redo them. 

“I win! Lunch is on you,” she whoops, zipping up her jacket and grins in satisfaction as he finishes tying his lace. 

It stops her, for a second, as she waits for his retort, but it doesn’t come. Confused, she bends down to look at him.

“Scott? Are you okay?” She’s suddenly concerned, and wonders if she said anything to offend him. 

“Fine. Just nervous, T. I mean, this was the right choice, coming back?” He says, looking at her. “I don’t know, I’m just worried. Which is dumb, considering we’ve been doing this for over a decade.” He states, running his hands through his hair.

She spots this as his defence mechanism for whenever he’s uncomfortable, and she replies, “That’s normal. And it’s not dumb, I’m kind of anxious too, truth be told. But I guess I’m happy to be here, and not at home wishing I was.”

She pulls him into a hug, and he whispers, “I love you, T. For us. Together,” as he squeezes her tightly, as if trying to make sure that she really is there.

“Let’s do this,” she says, as they step onto the ice when their names are announced.

Turns out, the moment of vulnerability before their skate was exactly what they needed. They perform their short dance full out, and he lifts her on his thighs. When she jumps off, he catches her, asks her the usual “you okay?” and she nods as they end in their final pose.

They head over to the judges to get their critiques, and Scott is in a considerably better mood afterwards. In short, the committee loves it, and they’ve solidified themselves as Canada’s frontrunners once again (as if there was any chance of them not being. They are Canada’s sweethearts, for goodness' sake). 

They head down to do interviews, which is probably the part that makes Tessa the most nervous, and she almost has a mental breakdown but Scott reminds her, “T, listen, if it’s a question you don’t want to answer just give me a cue, okay?” and she nods. Weeks of therapy sessions after the games prepared them for the onslaught of questions about their silver medal which would inevitably come, and Tessa braces herself for the worst.

The interviews go surprisingly smoothly, and Tessa is about to heave a sigh of relief when the interviewer prompts, “So, why return to competition? Everyone expected you to retire. Aren’t you afraid you’d get beaten?”

The straightforwardness of the question makes Tessa take a step back. She laughs nervously, a cue that Scott picks up on and he hastens to answer for her. 

“Well, Tess and I miss it, to be perfectly honest. And we’re so excited for what’s to come. After the games, we have teams retiring and a whole new field of ice dance, and we can’t wait to be part of that. And I think getting beaten is what makes it exciting, right? We have such great junior dance teams, you should really get to know them.” He finishes, holding Tessa close to his side and steering the attention away from them. Of course, it’s years of media training that allows him to do this smoothly, and Tessa quietly thanks him.

“Come on, let’s get lunch,” Scott says, patting her back and she follows him out the centre, away from the media.

Staying true to their pact, Scott treats Tessa to lunch, at a restaurant they always go to during High Performance Camp. They laugh and tease and talk, and it’s times like these, Tessa thinks, that make it all worth it. It’s just like the old days, and it brings them back to when they were juniors and none the wiser. It’s remarkable, really, how the place never changed, but they were so different from their 16 and 18 hormonal selves, the 19 year old crying to her best friend after admitting she needed surgery, the 20 and 22 year old kids who won their first Olympics, and now, 24 and 26, coming back to their sense of normal. It feels right.

Scott pays the bill and Tessa jokes that the best part about being his partner is that she always eats free, and Scott being Scott says, “Only for you, Virtch”, which makes her smile and she puts her free arm around his waist as they walk back to the centre. 

The week passes by without much trouble, except that they need to rework a rotational lift, but they are both in such high spirits that for possibly the first time in their careers, they feel unbeatable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so a few disclaimers for this work! this is my very first work, and it's probably really bad but i tried my hardest (pls don't hurt me). also, half of this is fictional so yes, i'm making up stuff as we go and i guess you could say this is an adaptation of 2014-2016. anyways, hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Off-Season @ Gadbois 2014, Montreal**

Marie-France is particularly happy with High Performance Camp, and she hugs Tessa and Scott the moment they step onto the ice.

“My babies! Well done! It was fun, yes?” She exclaims, and they nod in unison.

Despite all the media scrutiny surrounding their decision to leave Marina for Montreal, Tessa knew it was the right call. Gadbois is revelatory, because she doesn’t leave every single training session feeling like second-best, and they focus more on training their mechanics to move differently so that they can perform at their best, rather than to beat out the competition. Gadbois is fun because here, there isn’t a Marina to make offhand comments about her muscular form, and it’s more about working with what they have, as opposed to trying to be what they are not. In Montreal, the coaches are nurturing and they feel at home. Gone are the days when they would dread going home to an apartment that was too quiet, too lonely, feeling too upset at their training day and too stressed about how they could get all their levels. 

Now, they live in the same apartment complex, just two doors down from each other. Everyday, Scott would knock on her door and they would drive together to Gadbois, train for a few hours, then head back home. This set up worked for both of them: they had their own personal space yet they had each other nearby just in case. It helped with their communication, and they both remarked at how their partnership has only gotten better due to this arrangement. 

While Patrice analyses the critiques from High Performance Camp, Tessa and Scott do crossovers around the edge of the rink. No one has arrived yet, so it's private ice for them and Scott takes advantage of this, doing goofy moves that would have absolutely not been allowed if Marina was there. It makes Tessa laugh like crazy, and they are in good spirits as they start working on their step sequences.

They have approximately a month before heading to Autumn Classic for their first competition of the season, and they’re on track. On Wednesday, Scott proposes that they try a different lift exit for their rotational lift, which hasn’t seemed to be working since High Performance Camp.

The rink is full, with the French and the Americans skating alongside them as well as a bunch of junior teams, and Romain trying his best to get them to stay closer in hold. They work and work, practicing different lift variations, but nothing seems right. It doesn’t help that their emotions are heightened by all the teams on the ice who seem to be just fine.

“I need to get speed into the lift, T,” Scott says rather impatiently, running his hands through his hair. He doesn’t mean for it to sound like he’s blaming her, but it comes out that way, and she takes it as such.

“Sorry,” Tessa replies offhandedly. He can tell that she’s tense and frustrated by her flushed cheeks, and she avoids his gaze by staring at the ice.

They’re struggling. Scott, who senses that things could turn ugly fast, asks if they should take a breather, and Tessa agrees. She skates away from him, and starts working on her edges, but really she’s not thinking about anything except that she’s not good enough and they made a mistake coming back to competition. 

She hears the sound of his skates before she sees him, and Scott joins her side, asking, “Ready?” and they build momentum before trying the lift again.

They don’t talk much throughout the rest of the training session, and Scott knows better than to engage with Tessa at this moment, especially in a rink filled with their competition. After training, Scott proposes they go for ice cream.

“Come on, T. My treat,” he says, and for the first time that day, she smiles. 

They head to an ice cream spot a few blocks down from the rink, which is a small, cosy shop they discovered the first week they arrived in Montreal. It’s so quintessentially them, from the plush cushions and oak table to the rustic lighting. They order their ice creams and sit down at their usual spot, a corner hidden away from view.

“Rough training today, eh? Haven’t had that in a long while,” Scott initiates.

“Yeah. For a moment I felt like we were back in Canton. I was ready for Marina to start yelling again,” Tessa replies, cringing at her use of her coach’s name.

“Oh, Tess. I’m sorry. It really is night and day here in Montreal compared to Canton,” Scott replies, and there’s a tenderness in his eyes.

“Yeah it is. I guess I just need to get used to it. But I think we handled today well. Sorry for being closed off,” she responds. It’s a seldom occurrence when Tessa addresses her attitude towards training. Scott and her always had that common understanding between them, but hearing her say it out loud, ignites in him a rush of affection for her. 

“It’s okay, T. We all have bad days, yeah?” he assures her, and they go on to talk about lighter subjects, like setting up Tessa for a date.

Their ice cream is long gone, but they continue to chat for a while. In the middle of their conversation about whether Madi or Zach would get married first, Scott breaks off and becomes distracted by a group of working-class adults who’ve just entered the shop. 

“What?” Tessa asks, confused as she turns around curiously.

“Sarah.” Scott says plainly, and beforelong his girlfriend spots him and he gives her a wave, beckoning her over. 

Tessa has never been introduced to Sarah in real life, only in pictures, and even then she didn’t really pay close attention. It’s not that she doesn’t care about Scott, it’s just that she’s so busy, coupled with the fact that Scott rarely brings her up in conversation, owing to him wanting to separate his skating from his personal life. Still, it’s a fine line and Tessa smiles at Sarah, internally begging for this to go smoothly. She’s had previous run-ins with Scott’s exes, and none of them ended well, which was probably why Scott decided that it would be better if he compartmentalized his romantic life from his professional career.

But Sarah returns the smile, and sits down next to Scott, who’s looking the most uncomfortable he’s been since he accidentally hit Tessa’s breast last Tuesday when she was coming down from a lift. 

“Tess, this is Sarah. Sarah, Tess,” Scott says, and both women exchange greetings. Tessa offers to get Sarah something to drink to fill in the awkward silence, and recommends the chocolate malt milkshake, leaving the table to order it for her. 

Truth be told, Tessa has never disliked any of Scott’s girlfriends. She’s never seen them as a threat, and in fact is more often than not happy for Scott to have someone to vent to after a hard day of training that isn’t her. It’s the mental toll of his girlfriends getting mad at him which eventually leads to him lashing out, especially during training, that bothers her. But Scott is the best partner ever, and we’re all human after all, she reasons, and as flawed as he might be, she’ll take emotional Scott over any other partner any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! this chapter is a bit shorter but i thought it'd be a good way to end it for now. i've put up 20 chapters (because i'm a dramatic vmie and they skated together for 20 years. yes, i know, i know, i can hear the sighs from the fandom). but the next few chapters will hopefully be longer, and i'm hoping to complete this work by this week (a tall order, i know, but my mind is running so fast and i have so many ideas and i'm so excited). as always, thank you for reading, and let me know your thoughts. until next time, loves!


	3. Chapter 3

**Off-Season @ Gadbois 2014, Montreal**

Scott departs the ice cream shop with Sarah in tow, after Tessa politely declines an invitation to dinner with them, saying how she’s tired from training. This is partly true, the lifts and emotional pressure of the day have taken the best out of her, but another part of her feels like she’s intruding on Scott’s relationship and she hugs both Sarah and Scott as she leaves. 

Scott and Sarah decide to head home and order takeout, after Scott complains how his back and legs ache after training. They sit at the dining table, skimming around the elephant in the room for a few minutes before Sarah relents.

“Tessa’s really nice, Scott,” she says after a moment of silence between them. She pauses, then continues, “I see why everyone loves her. She’s incredible.”

It’s a huge sigh of relief from Scott, who can never tell what his girlfriends think about Tessa. “Yeah, she is. Don’t get too attached though, I’m your boyfriend, remember?” he jokes.

“Don’t worry. But I’m glad I met her, it’s funny how we’ve been dating for a few months now and I’ve never had a chance to meet her.”

“Well, it’s a relief that you guys met,” Scott says, avoiding the pressing question and putting an indefinite end to the conversation.

When they head back to training the next day, nothing changes except Tessa teasing Scott about his girlfriend. It’s always been this way, ever since they were kids when Scott had his first crush on a girl but refused to tell Tessa who, and he didn’t hear the end of it for the next month. 

When Sarah waits for him outside the rink, Tessa laughs and remarks at how he’s “all grown up”, and he rolls his eyes and retorts, “you’re a comedic genius, Tess.”

She reaches where Sarah is standing and says “hi, Sarah! So nice to see you again” before smiling knowingly at Scott, prompting him to say “stop it, T”, but she knows he doesn’t really mean it. 

“You sure you’re good with going home alone? I don’t mind dropping you off, you know,” Scott asks for the eighth time that day.

“Sure, don’t worry about it. I’m meeting a friend for dinner anyways. See you guys, have fun!” Tessa says and she rubs his arm affectionately before leaving.

**Autumn Classic 2014, Barrie**

October comes in no time, and before they know it, Tessa and Scott are on a plane to Barrie, Ontario. They are tentative, but they know that they are miles ahead of the competition there. It’s an easy win, and they are more concerned about their twizzles than the victory.

Still, they head out to celebrate with their families, since it’s a short drive from London to Barrie. After an early dinner, they visit a bar with Kaitlyn and Andrew, who haven’t seen them since High Performance Camp.

“Tessa, this is your peak! You’re 25, hot, single, and smart. Let’s go!” Kaitlyn yells as she pushes Tessa to a table and orders drinks for them. 

“Thanks, Kait. But really, I’m fine,” Tessa says. Nightlife is more of Scott’s scene than hers.

“Come on! Scott, tell Tessa over here that she needs to find a man.” Kaitlyn pleads.

“Lighten up, T. I’m sure the boys are dying to buy you a drink,” Scott replies, but he’s finished half a bottle of beer already and whatever he says about having a high tolerance for alcohol, Tessa doesn’t believe him.

It’s true that she hasn’t had a serious boyfriend before 2010, and that’s in part due to her not being good at holding conversation like Scott, and worried that she might come across as off-putting. She’s had a few relationships, but none of them ever seemed to last. It’s nice for a change, talking to another guy around the same age as her who isn’t Scott. Years of sharing the same inside jokes and knowing each other too well has made it difficult for her to hold a conversation with someone else. She doesn’t quite know the rules of dating, how conscious should she be about her partnership with Scott? Does she even bring up Scott? These questions make her head spin. Kaitlyn leaves the table to socialise with a group of men who just arrived, and Tessa is left alone with Scott. 

“You think I’m too serious?” Tessa asks, the question coming out a bit too self-defensive for her liking.

It takes Scott by surprise, and he quickly corrects himself, “No, Tess, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, why not go for it? You haven’t dated anyone since we were teenagers.”

In spite of herself, she laughs and pretends to be offended as she replies, “That’s so not true! I’ve dated people. So many men, falling at my feet.”

Scott laughs, “good one, T. Your comedy is gold, you know that?” 

“Of course, it’s why you stuck around for 17 years,” she says, and takes a sip of her wine.

“Okay, well, why don’t you date then, since you’re such an expert?” he asks.

“Scott, just because you met Sarah and fell in love within a week doesn’t mean we’re all as lucky. We’re merely mortals compared to the charm of Scott Patrick Moir,” she muses, and Scott knows she’s just deflecting his question.

“So it’s about finding the right guy?” he asks.

No, it isn’t, she wishes she could say. It’s this partnership that complicates things, because everything she does, it’s always made difficult because they skate together. The media scrutiny after Vancouver was one thing, but Sochi was nearly unbearable. She tries not to internalise the headlines, even though they haunt her in her sleep. And maybe it’s the wine, or her tiredness from their skate in the afternoon, but she doesn’t realise she’s been saying this aloud until she catches herself and stops.

Scott doesn’t say anything for a moment, and regards her with an unreadable expression. She ducks her head, embarrassed about getting so personal, when she’s tried to hide her emotions from the world for so long. 

“Wow, T. That got deep real fast,” Scott finally says, taking another sip of beer. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. It’s just a mess, you know? Everything,” she says, and he nods. 

Scott understands, he really does. How could he not, after everything they’ve been through together? 

“And I keep questioning whether coming back to competition is the right move. I blocked the doubts from my mind until you mentioned at High Performance Camp that you were anxious. It made me realise that I was feeling the same thing too,” she continues. It’s the most she’s shared with him in a long time, and she realises how much the Olympics had taken a toll on their trust with each other. 

“Everything’s so different. Montreal, Gadbois, our team, our competition. I don’t know anymore,” she finishes, taking a long sip of her wine.

“That’s normal, Tess. To be honest, I was nervous too. But we have each other, you know?” he responds, looking at her concerningly.

And when he says those words, her heart melts. Because that’s so _Scott_ , always knowing what to say to make her feel okay. She laughs nervously and they walk back to the hotel, where they reach her room and they stay up talking until midnight.

“It’s getting late,” Scott says, sitting on the edge of Tessa’s bed. 

“Yeah, it is,” she replies inconsequentially.

“I’d better go. Goodnight, Tess,” he says, patting her knee and she feels his weight leave the bed. She knows she had regrets about last season, remembers that time when they felt like strangers dancing with each other.

“Wait, Scott. Don’t leave,” she says, and she feels small.

“T, what’s wrong?” he asks, concern creeping into his voice.

“Nothing, I just,” she pauses, bracing herself for the worst, “can you stay?”

He regards her for a moment before sliding in bed next to her. The feeling and smell of Scott next to her takes her back to when they were kids and they would sneak into each others’ beds the day before a competition. Before any Olympic gold medal and before all the media caught up to them. Before they started dating other people and barely knew how to look each other in the eye. Before the pain in her legs and the hurt from the scores made them grow up faster than they expected.

Tears come in hot and fast down her cheeks. She doesn’t notice it, but Scott does. Concern is etched into his face again, and he hugs her tight. 

“Oh, Tess. It’s okay,” Scott doesn’t really know exactly why she’s crying, but the fact of the matter is that she needs him, and what kind of person would he be if he wasn’t there for his best friend?

“I love you,” she whispers, after a moment of them silently embracing each other. She says it so softly that he barely hears it, but he knows it’s full of regret and apologies and a million other things she can’t put into words.

“Love you too, T. You know I always will,” he says, holding her tight. No one knows who drifts off first, but they lay in her bed, in a city that isn’t theirs, with unspoken words between them, and Tessa falls into the most peaceful sleep she’s had in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! thanks for stopping by! it's crazy how many times i've rewritten this chapter because i was unsure of the direction it was going in. hopefully you liked it, as always, comments are welcome :')


	4. Chapter 4

They wake up in the morning, with Scott feeling disoriented at first but then realising that he’d slept in the same bed as Tessa Virtue. She’s awake too, and tells him “good morning” and pulls him into another hug. Their legs are entangled with each other, and he’s careful to detach himself from her, not wanting to hurt her. 

“Morning, Virtch. You slept well?” he asks, and she nods.

They have a day off, with their flight only departing in the late afternoon, which is a rare luxury to have. Normally, they would be on the first flight home after a competition, but Marie-France granted them an extra day since the competition was near home and there wasn’t a huge time difference for them. 

Scott smiles and they look at each other before saying “room service!” in unison, and he orders them a huge breakfast while Tessa gets ready. 

When the food arrives, they sit down together on the bed and talk about the start of the Grand Prix series which is starting in two weeks, and reflect on how nicely spread their season is in terms of competitions. It’s so calm and peaceful, just having a sense of peace from their hectic lives.

“Are you feeling better?” Scott asks, once Tessa finishes her toast. She knew the question was coming, and prepared an answer beforehand.

“Yeah, I am. Thanks for staying with me last night,” she says and smiles at him.

“You’re being so sentimental, Virtch. What was that you called me last night, a sex God to you mere mortals?” he says, and she blanches.

“I’m such a lightweight, my brain wasn’t working last night,” she dismisses him, but he continues laughing at her while taking her plate and putting it on the tray.

She rolls her eyes at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that she basically gave him the highest compliment one could receive.

“Well, in any case, I’m pleased that Tessa Virtue thinks that highly of me,” he says, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

They agree to walk around Barrie for a while, but they are both tired from competition and Tessa suggests getting a quick nap at the hotel before their flight. Scott agrees and leaves her to doze off while he heads upstairs to pack up.

He hasn’t touched his phone since last night, and opens it to a sea of notifications, majority of them from friends congratulating both of them on their win, and a few missed calls from Sarah. He immediately hits the call button and brings his phone up to his ear.

“Hey, Sarah! How’s it going?” he asks, dumping his shirts into his suitcase.

“Hi babe, it’s good. Congrats on the win, I heard you guys were amazing,” Sarah replies.

“Thanks. Can’t wait to see you back in Montreal.” he says.

“Yeah, for sure. Hey, so my boss just invited me to an event in Vancouver, and it’s next weekend, are you up for joining me?”

“Vancouver, eh? That’s a bit far, I’ll see if I can, weekends will be kind of tight though,” he says, pinching his nose. He hates turning her down, especially since Sarah is always so supportive and turns up at any competition she can.

“Yeah, no, it’s fine. I get it. Don’t worry about it, just thought I should ask,” she says, and the disappointment is evident in her voice.

“Hey, I’ll try to see what I can do, okay? I’d love to go, but-” he’s cut off by a beeping sound emanating from his phone, and he sees an incoming call from Tessa. 

“Hey, Sarah, sorry, I need to go. Call you back later,” he blurts and accepts Tessa’s call, not even waiting for Sarah’s reply.

“Tess? What’s up?” Scott asks.

“Hey, Scott, this is kind of embarrassing, but I need help with something. It’s um - a costume malfunction, if you get my drift,” she replies.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, still unsure of what she’s asking of him.

“I got my period and I sort of forgot to pack a sanitary pad. I’m early, that’s why,” she says quickly in a hushed voice, even though she’s pretty sure no one is listening to their conversation.

“Oh! Okay. I’ll go get some for you. Don’t worry,” he responds, and heads out to the nearest convenience store.

He rushes back with the goods in hand and knocks on her door. “Tess? It’s Scott, your saving grace,” he shouts through the door. She opens the door with the most horrified look on her face and says, “Scott! You’re going to wake the whole country up!”

He smiles and hands her the pads and waits for her outside her bathroom just to make sure she’s okay. Once she’s finished, he gets his things and pushes their luggage onto the taxi and they make their way to the airport.

**Complexe récréatif Gadbois** **2014, Montreal**

Their score at Autumn Classic makes waves at Gadbois, and Patrice is in the best mood they’ve seen him since they started training in Montreal. Tessa finds it much easier to be with Scott after the night they slept in the same bed together, after she’d aired all her worries and grievances to him. They have been tense since Sochi, never really addressing their defeat and jumping head first into a new season.

All in all, their training for Skate Canada goes smoothly, and they’re connecting better than ever. Scott wonders when he should bring up Vancouver with Tessa, and decides to do it after they finish training on Thursday.

“Hey Tess? How would you feel if we took the weekend off?” Scott asks tentatively, putting his skate guards on as he leaves the ice.

“Why? Are you tired?” she replies, perplexed. 

“No, it’s just - Sarah has this work thing in Vancouver and she wants me to go with her. And I was thinking because our training was going so well that we could use a break. Just for the weekend,” he explains.

Tessa’s face is unreadable, but inside she’s digesting this information. To be frank, she’s worried about what taking two days off from training would do to them, because she doesn’t want to get complacent about Skate Canada. But she also knows it’s not her place to make Scott’s decisions, and shrugs.

“If you want,” she says, inconsequentially.

It’s 17 years of holding her hand that makes Scott so attuned to Tessa’s emotions, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

“No, no. It’s okay. You’re right, we shouldn’t jeopardize our season,” Scott says, and it’s like he can read her mind.

“Scott, you know I don’t want to keep you from whatever you want to do in your personal life,” she states.

“I know, I know. Vancouver is pretty far anyways, and I’m sure I’ll be tired and regret it afterwards. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Sarah,” he concludes, picking up his bag and walking her out to his car. He changes the subject once they hit the road, and soon enough they’re singing the most awful renditions of Hall and Oates’ classics, per Tessa’s request.

Back at their apartment, Scott sees Tessa home and then drags his feet back to his own, dreading conveying to Sarah the news. He unlocks his phone and chooses her contact number, before pressing it to his ear.

“Hey, Sarah. How’re you?” he chimes, after she picks up.

“Work’s been crazy lately, you know,” she says.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, stripping his clothes off to get ready for bed.

“No, just the usual,” she sighs.

“About Vancouver, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can go. I know you really wanted me to be there, but it’s just been really intense, and it’s better if I stay,” he explains.

There’s a moment of silence, and then Sarah speaks up.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, that’s fine. You wouldn’t mind me going with Dean, then?” she responds.

“Dean?” Scott asks, anxiety creeping in.

“Yeah, my co-worker. The one you met last month at my house party. He offered to go with me,” she states.

“Are you sure about that?” Scott asks. He’s always been protective and the idea of another guy taking his girlfriend on an overnight trip makes him feel weirdly uncomfortable.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sarah quips, and he can hear the annoyance creeping in.

“I mean,” he pauses with a sigh, “is that a good idea?”

“You don’t trust me?” she counters.

“No, Sarah, please don’t think that. I’m just concerned for you, that’s all,” Scott says.

“Dean’s fine. Scott, you hang out with Tessa all the time, and I don’t say a word about it,” she finishes, and Scott knows their conversation is moving into dangerous territory. Once Tessa’s name is brought up, any rational thought leaves his mind and conversations turn sour in an instant.

“Tess is my partner, Sarah. I thought you knew that,” he recites, a line that he’s said so often it’s almost automatic.

“You hang out with her all the time, and I trust you. It’s funny how you don’t feel the same way about me going with Dean, especially since you were the one who couldn’t make it to Vancouver,” she retorts, anger evident in her tone.

“Look, Sarah, I’m sorry, okay? Have fun in Vancouver,” he responds, wanting the conversation to end as fast as possible. Scott’s admission of defeat makes her soften a little, and she’s calmer when she tells him “goodnight” and he says “talk to you later” and they hang up. 

Lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling, Scott thinks about what Tessa told him at Autumn Classic, at how their partnership was complicated by everything else in their lives. She’s right, he thinks, and it’s the same reason why he hasn’t been able to keep a girlfriend, because they never understand, and the comments of fan threads dissecting his personal life has ended each and every relationship on a bad note. 

It’s true, his relationship with Tessa has been complex to say the least. She’s more than a friend to him, they both know that. Friends don’t act the way they act around each other, and despite what she’s told the media about not having a word to describe their relationship, between him and her, he has always thought of them as soulmates. He’s always hesitant at admitting that, because of the implications that word has, especially in the romantic sense, and they already have enough news articles written about their partnership than they care. But he knows that they were made for each other, even if they don’t openly admit it, because you don’t go 17 years of holding a person’s hand when you aren’t. 

**Skate Canada 2014, Kelowna**

Despite the strain it might have had on his relationship with Sarah, Scott doesn’t regret staying in Montreal for the weekend, because the week of training has taken a physical toll on him. His back has been bothering him, more so than before Sochi, but he tries not to let it get to him too much because he can’t stand letting Tessa get worried about him when she’s already tense enough about Skate Canada. 

The last week of training before the Grand Prix series ends on a high note. Sarah comes back from Vancouver less than pleased with Scott, but they both agree that the space from each other was good. He still has reservations about Dean, but knows that Sarah has been more than welcoming to Tessa, so he lets it slide. His partnership with Tessa has only gotten better, and they spend the weekend at his place talking about their season as well as their worries, before flying off to Kelowna. 

At the last minute, Sarah gets caught up at work, so she tells Scott she can’t make it. It’s a relief, and he feels like a jerk even thinking that, but he can’t help it. Things have been going great with Tessa, and even though she puts on a friendly front, he knows that having Sarah with him makes Tessa feel uncomfortable. He understands why, and can’t even fathom how he would have reacted if Tessa were to get a boyfriend. He separates Tessa from his girlfriends, because she’s too important to him and he knows she feels the same way about him. With the tense atmosphere of competition and the pressure to perform, he knows that it’s his job to minimise any outside factors that may cause Tess to freak out, girlfriend included. They’ve always been protective of each other, for as long as he can remember, back when they were kids and got into their first argument, and when their parents tried to find out who started it, neither of them ratted the other out. It’s always been an unspoken rule between them, and he won’t be the one to break it.

They reach their hotel just before their practice session begins, so they barely have time to settle in their rooms before changing into costume and rushing to the rink. They spot Kaitlyn and Andrew, already at the boards, getting ready for their names to be announced.

Scott takes Tessa’s hand and they hit the ice, feeling prepared as they launch into their first step sequence. Marie and Patch are by the boards, watching their every move, stopping them every now and then to give several pointers. 

“How’re we feeling?” Scott asks, as they skate around the border of the rink.

“Still a bit nervous, but that’s normal, right?” Tessa responds.

“Of course. What are you nervous about? That I’ll drop you?” Scott says, pulling her towards him into an embrace. 

Tessa laughs and rolls her eyes, saying, “You know that’ll never happen.”

“A 17 year streak that I will not be willing to end,” Scott brags, and plants a kiss on her cheek.

“Hm...I’m not sure about 17 years. Remember that time when I was 12 and you pushed me into the swimming pool?” Tessa asks.

“Come on, T. That doesn’t count because it wasn’t on the ice. I remember mom looking like she was going to kill me after that. Besides, that’s _pushing_ , it’s different.”

“I still fell, though,” Tessa laughs and starts skating faster away from him, looking back as if daring him to catch up.

“T, slow down or you might get hit,” Scott says, but he speeds up and takes her hand in his.

“Feeling better?” Scott asks, after they finish their third lap. She nods, and he’s content with the fact that he’s at least helped to make her laugh, even if her happiness is fleeting.

Tessa doesn’t have much to worry about, though, because their practice session went well, and they head off to dinner before bidding each other good night.

They wake up the next morning and head to the rink for their short dance, but they’re last in their warm up group and have to wait an hour before it’s their turn. Patch keeps them occupied by coaching them through their rehearsals backstage, and they can’t help but notice stares from their other competitors. Scott tries his best to distract Tessa from them, continually talking to her as they enter into their own bubble like they do before each competition. Before long, their names are called and they perform the short dance with a few baubles but manage to keep most of their levels. Scott holds Tessa tight in the Kiss and Cry, and when their scores are announced, he looks at her to make sure she’s handling it well. She gives him a small smile, even though neither of them are ever satisfied with their skates, because you don’t get to the top without thinking you’ve got things to improve on.

When they head back to the hotel after discussing with Marie and Patch on how to attack their free dance the next day, they are both equally exhausted yet invigorated by the day’s events. Scott stops to hug Tessa when they reach her room, and tells her to get a “good night’s rest”, and she hugs him back with a quick “goodnight”.

As Scott heads back to his room, he feels his phone ringing, and sees Sarah’s name appear.

“Hi,” he says after accepting her call, and she responds equally unenthusiastically.

“Is work okay?” he asks, sensing her fatigue. He’s exhausted and would like nothing better than to call it a day, but he can tell that she wants to talk.

“Could be worse. So, how’s your day been?” she asks.

In spite of his bed beckoning him to fall asleep, he launches into a play by play of his day with Tessa, and how they scored their season’s best in the short dance. He tries his best to sound awake, but stops when he realises he’s been talking for a good five minutes, and Sarah hasn’t said a word.

“Sarah? Are you there?” he asks.

“Yeah. Scott, listen, I’m really tired,” she responds.

He doesn’t know why he takes this the wrong way, but he’s tired and trying to make her feel better, and her tone of irritation catches him off guard.

“Why bother calling me, then?” he snaps, and instantly regrets it.

“I was trying to be nice. But all you’ve talked about since I saw you was Tessa,” she snaps back, and then as if trying to take back her words, says, “I’m tired.”

“Well, yeah, she’s my partner, what’d you expect? I’m trying my best here, Sarah. Would you rather I lie to you?” he retorts. It’s true, he is trying to let Sarah into his life, and, well, part of his life is Tessa. He’s frustrated, especially since he can’t help but regret even thinking that Sarah wouldn’t get jealous, that she would be different from his previous girlfriends.

“She consumes your life, Scott. And I hate to say this, but it’s true. Everything’s about her, every thought that goes through your mine, it’s always Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. What would Tessa think? How would Tessa feel? Do you even talk about me to her?” Sarah rages, almost shouting into the receiver.

“I was trying to protect you, Sarah,” he replies, because he doesn’t have a concrete answer to her question.

“Really, Scott? Because I think it’s the other way around,” she scoffs, and says, “I think we should take a break, Scott,” after a moment of silence.

And because it’s nearing midnight, and because he’s so tired he doesn’t have strength to argue back, he replies, “yeah, we should,” and hangs up, not waiting for her response.

He crashes onto his bed, tears shining in his eyes. Try as he may, Scott can’t fall asleep. His mind is whirring with millions of questions as he replays the conversation over and over again in his head. Finally, at around five in the morning, he drifts off to sleep, thinking that this was all a bad dream and everything will be fine in the morning.

Morning comes around in a blink of an eye, and Scott barely can move his body. His back is killing him, and he is emotionally exhausted from the previous night. He remembers his call with Sarah, and tries to block her words out, but they ring through his mind as he gets ready for the big day ahead.

He doesn’t realise he’s been zoning out until he hears a knock on his door, and Tessa’s voice calling him.

He opens the door, trying his best to appear as normal as possible, and greets her.

“Hey, I thought you overslept or something, so I stopped by to check,” she says, regarding him closely. 

“Sorry,” he replies, and watches the smile fade from her face.

“Is everything okay?” Tessa asks, rubbing his arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine, T,” he replies. He knows that telling Tessa about the phone call won’t help them win the gold, not when she’s already stressed about the free dance. Part of him feels unbearably guilty for not telling her the truth, but he reasons that it’s the right thing to do. He’ll confide in her after the competition.

Tessa doesn’t look convinced, but she stops herself from prying. If it’s anything of major concern, Scott wouldn’t keep it from her, and she knows him well enough to understand that he needs some space.

While waiting for their turn to warm up, Scott is unusually quiet, but he blames his nerves when Tessa points it out. They do their usual pre-skate hug, and take the ice for their warm up. When there is usually a back and forth between them, they are quiet for the majority of the five minutes, apart from a few verbal cues. As they wait for their turn to perform, she takes it upon herself to keep the conversation going, even though she gets nothing more than half-hearted responses from him. She’s more hurt than annoyed at Scott’s stand-offish attitude, but she internalises her emotions and pretends she doesn’t notice, because she knows that’s what he wants her to think.

They perform their free dance, but Scott messes up his last set of twizzles. The rest of the program goes smoothly, though, and they bow to the cheering crowd, before leaving the ice. As they sit in the Kiss and Cry, Scott plays with his fingers and refuses to engage with their coaches, and Tessa puts her arm around him when the scores are announced. They get a deduction from the fall, but it is still their season's best. Scott isn’t pleased, albeit encouragements from Marie who seems satisfied enough and reminds him that “it’s okay”. 

After the Medal Ceremony, Scott rushes off, presumably back to his room, citing tiredness and promises Tessa to meet her in the lobby for the press conference.

When they meet again later that day, Scott looks worse, if that was even possible. Nonetheless, he guides her to the room where the conference is being held and they answer questions for the next hour, before they are finally free of the media and head back to their hotel.

When they reach the lobby, away from the cameras and prying eyes of fans, Tessa tests the waters.

“Long day, isn’t it?” she comments, looking at him expectantly.

He sighs, knowing that this conversation is unavoidable, and nods in consent. They head to her room, and he’s about to leave but Tessa stops him.

“Scott, what’s wrong? I don’t mean to overstep, but clearly something’s bothering you,” she says.

“Sarah and I are on a break. We had a pretty nasty fight yesterday night. I’m sorry I wasn’t at my best today, T. I wasn’t a good partner,” he apologises, looking humiliated.

“You’re allowed to feel your feelings, Scott,” she assures him.

“Doesn’t mean what I did to you was right. It was my fault. I messed up the twizzles. You were amazing out there,” he says, still avoiding her eye contact.

“I thought you were great. Do you know how many times I fell on my twizzles? I’m not mad at you, you know,” Tessa says, hoping that she’s alleviated some of his concerns.

“I don’t deserve you,” he says, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Scott, don’t say that,” she whispers, resting her head on his shoulder.

He sighs, and lets go of her. “You should get some rest, T.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, referring to his fight the night before.

“We were both agitated and tired yesterday. Don’t worry about it, Tess, I’ll figure it out somehow,” he says, more for her sake than his own. He knows how much she cares about him, and worrying her is the last thing he wants to do.

“Okay. I’m here if you need to talk. Goodnight,” she says, looking more at ease than she had been the whole week.

“Night, T,” Scott says, and leaves for his room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, that was a long one! i've thought about combining the first three chapters because they really are incredibly short as compared to this one, but i don't want to have to delete your comments because they're so nice! i've been rereading my writing obsessively, trying to iron out any grammatical/expression errors. they say you're your own worst critic, and that is absolutely true. thank you for your comments, thank you for being here. i still can't believe anyone would want to read this, and it truly means a lot. until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

**Complexe récréatif Gadbois** **2014, Montreal**

The plane ride back to Montreal is uneventful, to say the least. Scott is still brooding over his break with Sarah, and Tessa knows better than to pry for more information, especially when he is tired from competition. They make small talk and even though the ride is as short as can be, she still snuggles up to Scott and rests her head on his shoulder. It’s nice, she thinks, how Scott is the only person she can comfortably sit in silence with for hours on end, without having to exchange a single word. 

They continue training in Montreal, making minor tweaks to their program as they go. It’s a welcome distraction for Scott, who she notices has been staying later at the rink after practice, but she doesn’t mind waiting with him. On Tuesday, they head to Tessa’s apartment to discuss their plans for the upcoming weeks, and it isn’t before long that the conversation moves into personal territory.

“Is your mom coming to France?” Scott asks, pouring wine into her glass.

“I’m not too sure. Is yours?” Tessa replies, and mutters a “thank you” after he fills her glass.

“Yeah,” and then as an afterthought, “Sarah might be coming.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” she says, because honestly she doesn’t know how to respond.

Truthfully, Scott doesn’t know if he and Sarah are still a “thing”, seeing as their last real conversation was during Skate Canada and she’s been burying herself in her work, always having an excuse for not being able to see him. He’s lost in thought, until Tessa reels him back to reality.

“How’s Sarah?” Tessa asks.

Scott lets out a sigh and replies that “she’s alright, I guess”, before giving her a sad smile. 

“It was pretty bad, the fight. We were both upset and said things we didn’t necessarily mean,” he adds, but in actuality, all Scott has been thinking about were what Sarah said about Tessa.

_She consumes your life, Scott. And I hate to say this, but it’s true. Everything’s about her, every thought that goes through your mine, it’s always Tessa, Tessa, Tessa._

Despite his agitation at Sarah’s confession, he knows deep down that there is truth to it. His life has always been intertwined with Tessa’s, and thinking about her in relation to his own life is second nature to him. 

After a slight pause, Tessa asks, “have you guys talked it out?”

He shakes his head, downing his last drops of wine. She pulls him into a hug, surprising him, but soon enough he’s hugging her back.

“Oh, Scotty. It’ll work out,” she soothes, rubbing his back.

“T, you know how much I hate being called that,” he replies, but he doesn’t let go of her.

It’s Tessa that breaks away from the hug, laughing and saying, “I know, but you don’t hate me for it.”

“Never, Virtch. Trust me, it’s come close, though,” he warns, standing up from his stool to return the plates to the dishwasher. 

It’s all so domestic, Tessa thinks, with Scott being in her home and them having daily dinners together, the friendly banter between them, and the best (or let’s face it, worse) part of the whole thing is that it feels so natural, so right to her, she never wants it to end.

**Trophée Éric Bompard 2014, Bordeaux**

Before they know it, they are on a plane to their second Grand Prix in France, with Sarah in tow. It’s awkward, to say the least, because Scott looks like he might just fade away when he realises that Sarah is down in Economy Class while he and Tessa were upgraded to Business. 

Tessa offers her seat to Sarah, because it’s the nice thing to do.

“Don’t worry,” she assures, “I’m good with Economy.”

Scott stops her with a shake of his head, and she can’t help but notice a flash of resentment in Sarah’s eyes. 

“No, T. It’s okay. That isn’t fair to you,” Scott says, but deep down he just doesn’t have energy to spend the next seven hours arguing with Sarah.

Sarah gives both of them a cold smile before heading off to her seat in the plane. Tessa waits until she leaves to say her piece.

“Scott! How could you?” she says, once she’s sure Sarah is out of earshot.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you, T. Plus I know how you hate sitting next to strangers.” Scott replies, taking her hand carry and placing it in the overhead cabin.

“Thanks,” she says, and continues, “She’s your _girlfriend_ , Scott.”

He doesn’t respond, only sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She’s flying to France for you. The least you can do is act like you want her there,” she continues, refusing to sit down.

“Tess, you’re blocking the aisle.” Scott warns her, pulling her to the side to allow a passenger to pass.

“She’s going to hate me, you know?” Tessa says, finally taking a seat next to him. 

“Nobody can hate you, T,” Scott replies, and she looks relieved. As always, they spend the next seven hours laughing and talking and sleeping until they reach Bordeaux.

The competition goes as planned, and they win their second Grand Prix, going into the Final with the highest score in the field, Gabi and Guillaume trailing in second, but not close enough to cause any worry. 

After the medal ceremony, they get some time off before the press conference and Scott decides to take Tessa’s advice and spend some time with Sarah.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asks immediately after his hotel room closes behind them. Sarah sighs and sits on his bed, pulling off her boots and ignoring his question.

“Sarah,” he prompts, still standing at the door.

“What do you want me to say, Scott?” she replies, looking straight at him.

It’s funny, he thinks, how he could feel so defeated after they were declared champions a few minutes ago.

“I don’t know anymore,” he responds.

“What _don’t_ you know?” Sarah asks, and her voice is so empty, so devoid of any emotion.

“I don’t want to fight. We said things we shouldn’t have. We didn’t mean it,” he starts, looking at her, almost pleadingly.

“No,” she replies, and her curt tone throws him off guard.

“No,” she repeats, standing up, “ _I_ meant what I said, Scott. Whether you liked it or not. I don’t know how much thought you’ve given to what I said that night, because God knows where your head is at. But I know what I said. I meant it,” she finishes. She’s still staring at him, daring him to get angry. 

But he doesn’t. And he thinks this is the moment where this relationship wouldn’t last, because once he’s stopped fighting, he knows he’s given up. He hates himself for not fighting for them, for not at least trying, but he can’t will himself to do much except avoid her gaze and continue staring at anything but her.

“So, that’s it? I follow you everywhere, I cancel my bloody plans, I make time for you, all of which,” she stops to take a breath, “all of which you’ve done nothing but give me crap half the time I’m around, as if I’m some stranger who you’re forced to deal with.”

Sarah is mad, and rightfully so, Scott thinks. It’s better to let her lay it all out, it’s what he deserves anyway.

“Not to mention, you’ve never stopped to _think_. To think about how I would feel, when you chose to spend your time with _her_. All I’ve done is try to understand you, try to forgive you. Do you know how many people told me you aren’t worth it? And every single time I made excuses for you,” she laughs, as if this relationship is some sick punchline.

“I’m sorry,” Scott says.

“No. No, you don’t get to say that,” she’s mad now, shaking with uncontrollable anger. Sarah puts on her boots and her coat and her face is red with anger.

“You don’t get to apologise. We both know you don’t mean it. I spent the entire relationship feeling less than, and I was so hopelessly infatuated with the idea of you. Scott Moir, Canada’s prince,” she throws her hands up in the air as if surrendering.

“I never meant for you to feel that way,” is all he can say in defence, and it comes out in such a small voice that even he isn’t sure whether he means it.

“But I did feel that way, Scott,” she counters.

There’s so many things he wants to say, how he warned her about all of this, how he told her he wasn’t worth it, how she still pushed for this relationship, how it wasn’t his fault, how she should’ve known better.

But all he says is, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m so sick of you comparing me to her Scott, and don’t deny it,” she adds, as he starts to open his mouth to correct her.

“You put her on a pedestal, she consumes you. I’m not her, Scott. No matter how much you want me to be,” the anger in her voice shifts to pity. 

“You think I don’t know that?” he says, tone so cold he wonders if he really said that.

He expects her to continue shouting at him, to tell him how messed up he is, to tell him he’s a sorry excuse for a person.

In the end, she just lets out a sigh, and laughs emptily. “It’s over. You’ve been a great boyfriend, Scott. You’re the only guy I’ve been with that actually respected me. You made me feel wanted. But I was so caught up with the idea of Scott Moir actually knowing who I was, actually liking me, I ignored what everyone else said. I ignored my feelings. And I just, I just can’t anymore. I want more. I deserve more. I thought about it during our break. More than I should have. I think I owe it to myself to end this. Have a nice life, Scott,” she says, taking her things and leaving, not looking at him as she walks past him.

“Where are you going?” he asks, because they’re in France and she’s dragging her luggage out the door.

“I booked a flight. I think we both knew it was over before today. I just needed this trip to accept what I’ve known to be true, even if I hated admitting it,” she replies.

He doesn’t even turn around to see her walk away from him, all he does is hold the door open until she’s gone and then he closes it and shuts his eyes, leaning against the door.

Of course, he blames himself. He’s so angry at the world, so angry at the fact that he has a skating partner who he loves and he doesn’t know in _what_ way, but he knows she’s the most important thing that has ever happened to him and everything else takes a backseat to Tessa. He hates how he can’t have the best of both worlds, how terrible of a boyfriend he was, how he probably won’t ever find someone that will understand their relationship. And how could they? 

In a way, he’s relieved it’s over. He’s tired of tiptoeing around and trying to not mess things up and the emotional exhaustion a relationship inevitably brought to his life. He thinks about how she said he was a great boyfriend. Wasn’t that enough? No, he thinks to himself, and he knows deep down that he never truly allowed himself to fall in love with Sarah, because if he did, he wouldn’t be questioning how Tessa would feel about Sarah, whether Tessa would be mad at him, or trying to keep Tessa away from Sarah for as long as possible. No, his heart never truly belonged to Sarah, and that makes him feel like the worst person alive.

He meets Tessa at the press conference, and it’s like he’s a new person. He makes good natured jokes and showers his partner in compliments, and looks the most comfortable he’s been in months. She seems to notice this, too, but doesn’t mention it until they get away from the prying eyes of the public.

“You’re in a good mood,” she states simply, once they enter the hotel lobby.

“I think France has turned me into a romantic,” he replies, guiding her into the elevator.

“I see. You and Sarah made up?” she says, and she looks so genuinely happy for him, he hates that he has to ruin this.

“No, T. We broke up. She’s gone,” he says, smiling sadly.

“Scott, I’m so sorry,” she replies, squeezing his hand and suddenly they're both at her hotel door, and she lets him in without a word.

“It’s okay, Tess. It was over anyways. And it wasn’t a bad break up,” he says, and then continues, “can we get room service? I’m hungry.”

Even though Scott looks unconcerned, she can’t help but wonder if he’s putting up an act for her. She nods in response and his face lightens up like a child on Christmas morning, and it’s so pure and innocent that she can’t help but kiss his cheek.

It’s a simple gesture, but she blushes and quickly busies herself with packing her luggage.

“T? You okay?” Scott asks, because he knows that she probably just wants to sink into a hole and die right now.

“Fine,” she replies, in a voice that is too high pitched. After being undeniably platonic with Scott for the past three weeks, he’s sure that Tessa is as surprised as he is about the casual intimacy, because she’s been keeping a distance from him ever since he told her about his fight with Sarah. He knows how respectful she was, never putting him in an uncomfortable situation and dealing with his bad temper through Skate Canada. And in that moment, he tries to resist the urge to kiss her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update took quite a while, i was unsure of the direction it was going at first. hope you enjoyed it, and i hope the end is well worth the wait.


End file.
